The Healing Journey

Don’t be in a hurry to complete your healing journey. It’s not a normal journey. Very often, you will progress in small steps. When you think you’re not moving forward at all, you will be. However, you may not realize you’ve made progress until weeks or months later when you pause and look back at how far you’ve come.

So avoid discouragement if the way seems rough, and avoid self-criticism that suggests, “I’m not getting better so I must be doing something wrong.” The signposts along the way may not be as apparent as a trip on Metro-North Railroad, but they are there.

Look for signs that you’re making progress: You might not be as negative and pessimistic as when you started out. You will cry less, although the wounds that grief causes still can reopen when you least expect it. Instead of being annoyed with well-intentioned people who say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you’ll be more forgiving. And you might even find yourself smiling … more than once for that matter. For the first time, you may realize there are others hurting as much as you, and you’ll want to help them. This simple act will give you enormous gratification.

As you move forward, you’ll have different insights into yourself, along with the person you lost. Instead of expecting perfection, you’ll find yourself satisfied with the kind of imperfection that has characterized humanity since the beginning of time.

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You’ll make progress on your healing journey, but don’t be discouraged if it comes in small steps.