The Healing Journey

March 22, 2024

“Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart.”
— Basil Rathbone

We live in a culture that wants us to believe that guilt and regret are bad. That guilt and regret are undeserved and unnecessary. Hopefully, that’s true, but not always. All of us, in one way or another, will think we could have done things differently. Isn’t that always the way? One thing is certain. If your guilt, warranted or not, disables you with regret so strong you are overwhelmed, you need to seek help in dealing with it. When you’re assaulted by self-doubts and self-accusations, sometimes it’s better to think about things differently.

And yes, while it may be true that you should have done things differently for a better outcome, that’s a reality you’ll have to face and come to a personal reconciliation with. Too much introspection and self-criticism can be a bad thing. Another fact of life is that often people who are bothered by self-recrimination are bothered needlessly in many cases.

Many people are haunted by the circumstances that led to someone’s death because they believe they are to blame. They’re overcome by misgivings that begin with the phrase, “If only…”

One thing is certain. You will not be able to change the past. What is done is done, as they say. However, you will be able to change the future. Another thing is certain: If you can say you did the best you could with the information you had at the time, you did your best.

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