The Healing Journey

November 21, 2024

Dr. Mary Neal chronicled her near-death experience from a kayaking accident in Chile in a 2011 bestseller titled, “To Heaven and Back: A Doctor’s Extraordinary Account of Her Death, Heaven, Angels and Life Again.” Several years later, she wrote another one, “7 Lessons from Heaven: How Dying Taught Me How to Live a Joy-Filled Life.” The book offers hope for those of us who fear death … and for those of us suffering the loss of a child. She talks about how she endured her son’s death and the grief that accompanied it.

In a chapter titled “There Is Hope in the Midst of Loss,” she reflects on the death of her 19-year-old son Willie, who was hit by a car and killed.

“I greatly missed my son’s presence in this physical world and shed tears at least once each day for years, and I can still be easily brought to tears. I was no longer able to attend baptisms, funerals or weddings because of the sorrow they stirred in me. I avoided grocery shopping, dining out and public events for fear of running into people I knew and seeing their expressions of compassionate pity. Although people try, what it feels like to lose a child cannot be fathomed by anyone who has not walked that path. Grieving involves mourning the loss of one’s hopes, expectations, and dreams for a child’s future. In a very real way, a child’s death results in the death of the entire family because its collective identity is forever altered. I grieved that, too.

”She said that while it is possible to “move forward,” it is never possible “to merely ‘move on’ and leave grief behind.” Nothing can replace what was lost. And yet, through it all she experienced joy.

“My joy is based on the certainty that there is a God who is real and present in the world, knows each of us individually, loves each of us deeply and has a hope-filled plan for our life. It is based in the knowledge that every situation and experience on Earth is temporary. And every situation and experience is preparing us in some way for our future.”

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