The Healing Journey

January 31, 2024

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”
— C.S. Lewis

Three times a week, Jim Colica visits the grave of his wife of 23 years, Kathy Hanson. Her monument at St. Mary-Putnam Cemetery has the inscription,

“Forever united in love,” with two entwined hearts, and is surrounded by colorful flowers that attract butterflies. Jim wanted her grave to represent the loving, caring and joyful woman she was and be an enduring tribute to their love.

In her memory, he had a statue of the Blessed Mother and the infant Jesus erected nearby, with a bench for all the families who have loved ones buried nearby, so they can spend time in quiet reflection and prayer.

“Kathy’s grave site reflects who she was for all to see — free-flowing gardens, butterflies and joy,” he said. “She is the most beautiful person, inside and out, I have ever known. There was no pretense, and she was forever young in spirit, a joy to all who met her…and they never forgot her smile and joyous nature.”

Jim now serves as the Vice Chairman of the Board of Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Bridgeport.

For him, cemeteries are meant to create an environment of prayer and personal memories of those who have gone before us, a peaceful place of repose to pay our respects to family and friends.

“I wanted her grave to represent who she was here on Earth, what she liked and how she was,” Jim says. “To me, a cemetery is much more than a place where people are laid to rest. It is a lifelong representation of what those people were, and it should represent their spirit.”

Because he wants others to have the same experience, the statue of Mother Mary faces the area around Kathy’s grave.

“The bench is for prayer and reflection for that section of the cemetery,” he says. “This was by design. It’s not just for Kathy nor me when I am next to her, but for everyone remembering their lost loved ones.”

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