The Healing Journey

January 19, 2024

“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong… I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
— Audrey Hepburn

After someone we love dies, there is a tendency to enter a self-imposed isolation. Some people are fortunate to have friends and family members check up on them regularly. Others are not. Others often find themselves alone and lonely, of their own choosing. While solitude is important to face our grief and start the healing process, isolating yourself can lead to depression, hopelessness and the belief things are not going to get better, only worse.

Negative feelings fester. Self-pity sets in, which is compounded by anger, resentment and despair.

Joanne’s family had moved on, but she couldn’t, and it only made it worse when they would say to her, “You have to move on” or “You should have gotten over this by now.” So resentment was added to her list of negative emotions. Their unwanted advice only reinforced her desire to stay away from people, even people she loved.

She stopped answering the phone because instead of a sympathetic ear, she got unsolicited advice. She stopped going out because it was easier to mope around the house in her pajamas, watch television and try to distract herself from her misery. But everything she did only added to her misery.

It’s natural to feel like crawling in a hole, but you have to resist the temptation to isolate yourself. You may not want to do it, you may not feel ready to do it, but sooner or later, you have to get up, get out and get going. It may be awkward, it may be stressful, but it will be necessary for your healing journey.

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Reconnecting with friends and getting back into your routine will be difficult, but try to commit to taking a small step every day.