October 7, 2023
Tim was inconsolable at his wife Joanne’s wake. He sobbed uncontrollably as he knelt by the side of her coffin and tears poured down his cheeks. His son tried to bring him back to his seat, but he wouldn’t move, and nothing his friends said could calm him.
His agonizing crying could be heard throughout the funeral home. In the back of the room, three women sat together … and rolled their eyes. One finally said, “If he loved her so much, he shouldn’t have been fooling around all the time.”
Another responded, “She died of a broken heart.”
His infidelities were no secret. Joanne often confided in her friends, and they would spend the afternoon crying together.
Life is seldom simple. Life is often messy. A husband’s grief was terribly intensified by his infidelities, which he thought were inconsequential and socially acceptable … until his wife died. Then, he understood that grief mixed with large portions of guilt and regret is a toxic combination. He will never know if she forgave him before she died, although he will spend years begging her for forgiveness now that she is gone.
Yes, in our society infidelity is common, and the pain it inflicts on another person is a pain that often resembles the feeling of loss we suffer when someone dies. The sadness Joanne endured during her years of marriage was a form of grief. And it took her death for her husband to understand his regret.
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As Catholics, we’re expected to confess our sins to a priest when we do wrong. We’re expected to ask our Lord for forgiveness for our sins. It is one of the most important things we can do on our healing journey. It will free us to go on with our lives as we try to do better.
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