The Healing Journey

January 15, 2025

To this day, Sandy harbors regrets that she wasn’t there when her dear Aunt Arlene died in the hospital. Alone. In her last years, Sandy had done everything possible to care for a woman whose life had a lot of contradictions. She couldn’t pay her bills, and she had a gambling problem. Or maybe that might be better put…she couldn’t pay her bills because she had a gambling problem. So Sandy stepped in, gave her money for necessities and took over most of the bill payment. Then, she bought her food. Then, because she could no longer drive, she took Arlene to doctor’s appointments. She helped get her a conservator and took her out of her apartment when the dementia started and sent her to a facility for seniors.

And when Arlene got so bad, she was sent to the hospital for what turned out to be her final months. Sandy was there virtually every afternoon … except on the day she died. Why did that regret haunt her? Perhaps she saw it as the one defining moment when she could prove her love and when Arlene needed her the most?

There are so many forms that regret takes. Some legitimate, some unnecessary, but all of them real to the person who suffers from it. All of us must come to terms with our regrets. This much is certain. We’re all imperfect creatures, hopefully trying to do the best we can for someone in need. That has to count for something, even if our efforts are less than perfect because that is what they usually will be.
©Joseph Pisani

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