The Healing Journey

February 23, 2024

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
— William Shakespeare

Were you ever told by your parents to “Keep a stiff upper lip”? Were you ever told by a coach to “Suck it up”? Were you ever told to “Keep your chin up”? Now is not the time.

Grieving does not require that you become a Stoic. That will only compound your pain. Grieving requires you to be honest about your loss and express it however you need to. Only in the modern era has the “accepted practice” been to keep our grief private and suffer in silence. However, in past ages and in other cultures, grieving was and is a very public and dramatic profession of personal and communal pain.

Mourning is a necessary part of grieving. Many worldwide traditions are quite demonstrative because it is an opportunity to offer support for the family and friends of the deceased. In some cultures, there is no restraint and the ritual of mourning is accompanied by wailing and weeping.

The Irish practice of “keening,” which is loud shrieking over the dead, was a traditional form of lamenting to express the pain the family and community felt. Rage can also accompany grief and to release it you may sometimes have to scream. These are all expressions of the intense emotions that grief evokes.

While our modern approach often differs from the past and other cultures, when you lose someone you love, don’t hesitate to have overt expressions of your grief and recognize that tears and sobs can help release the pain that fills your heart.

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There is no need for self-restraint in grief.