The Healing Journey

January 21, 2024

“We’re often ashamed of asking for so much help because it seems selfish or petty or narcissistic, but I think, if there’s a God — and I believe there is — that God is there to help. That’s what God’s job is.”
— Anne Lamott

For some time, Joan had been angry with God, ever since her husband suddenly died. It wasn’t fair. He was too young to die. And his death turned her life upside down. Everyone else, including her kids, had moved on, and now they were beginning to get annoyed because she was still clinging to her grief. They pleaded with her to move on, and the discussion would go around in circles. It hurt her that they were so insensitive and couldn’t understand. She resisted getting help, and they were convinced she wasn’t doing anything to get her life back on track.

What really bothered them was that she was constantly blaming God. However, during that time she kept going to Mass. Was that a cry for help? God is patient with us, especially those of us who are angry with him. He’s always reaching out, waiting for just the right opportunity.

Then one Sunday morning at 7:30 Mass, a new deacon gave the homily. Most of what he was saying was going in one ear and out the other for Joan, until he started talking about “crosses we all have to carry in our lives.” For a moment, she thought about the people she knew who were carrying crosses, which in some cases were heavier than hers. Then, Deacon Louis said something that resonated with her: “Our crosses will either make us bitter or better.”

So that was the choice? She couldn’t deny that her husband’s death had made her bitter. And it seemed as if God was talking directly to her through the deacon, and her response was immediate. “OK, if that’s the choice,” she told God. “Help me get over my bitterness because I can’t do it alone.”

She wasn’t sure if he heard her prayer, but she knew she needed help if her cross was going to make her better. So she asked for it.

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