January 16, 2024
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
— From a headstone in Ireland
When Patty’s husband John died, she recalls, “I was absolutely devastated even though I knew it was coming.” She was working full-time as a medical social worker and cared for him during the night as his cancer progressed. She suffered from what is called “anticipatory grief.”
He was on Wall Street on 9/11 and was coming out of the building when the Twin Towers were hit. Years later, he was diagnosed with stage 5 bladder cancer, and the last week of his life, he was a patient in the Catholic hospital where she worked.
Caregiving for a family member is a difficult challenge. At the same time, caregiving is one of the most unappreciated vocations in our society, and yet
it is one of the most important for people who are sick and dying and lonely. The caregiver provides not just medical care but also compassion … and hope that one way or another, tomorrow can be better than today, even for those who are at the end of their lives.
One memory Patty holds dear was the time she was doing the laundry at 3 in the morning and her husband asked her to stop. She wondered what he wanted and he told her, “I have to say thank you.”
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Never think that the care you give another person goes unrecognized.
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