The Healing Journey

January 8, 2024

Here’s a really radical idea. The next time someone says to you, “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know,” take them up on the offer. Most of us on the healing journey are hesitant or reluctant to say yes to those offers because we’re convinced they were made pro forma without sincerity or we don’t want people to think we need help. But we all need help, especially when we’re grieving.

Another common reaction is that we want to be alone in our grief and don’t want people there when we’re the most vulnerable. And that’s a wrong response because during those moments, we need others around us, if for no other reason than companionship or to have someone who can get us Chinese for dinner when the last thing we want to worry about is cooking.

So say yes. You won’t regret it, and the other person will be happy you did.

There’s another reason to say yes, especially in the early stages of grief, when you’re in no condition to make big decisions and everything seems to be falling in all around you. Having someone you can bounce your ideas off is an invaluable service. When you’re grieving and it comes time to start thinking about what has to be done, get a second opinion before you do anything.

Someone you trust can help you get your affairs in order during the months following a loved one’s death. Take a page out of the business world. Once you develop your “To Do” list, you may want to delegate some of the chores to other people who are eager to help.

***

Don’t hesitate to say yes when someone asks if they can help you.