February 16, 2026
The following is excerpted from an essay by David Bannon, which appeared in History Magazine.
Grief in the White House
By David Bannon
The death of a child exacts a heavy toll. In grief, prime ministers and presidents are the same as homemakers and poets, farmers and clergy. The pain plays no favorites. Parental bereavement is as profound as the lifelong changes that accompany it.
A shocking number of United States presidents were bereaved parents. John Adams lost three children; John Quincy Adams, two; Rutherford B. Hayes, three; Thomas Jefferson, five; John Tyler, three. William McKinley and Franklin Pierce watched all their children die. Grover Cleveland described the death of his twelve-year-old daughter as “almost unbearable.” Franklin Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan also knew the burden of parental sorrow. The list numbs us, unable to comprehend such heartbreak: nineteen presidents in all.
Other bereaved presidents include Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Calvin Coolidge, Theodore Roosevelt, George H. W. Bush, Joe Biden, and Dwight D. Eisenhower. Each man was unique, as was his grief, yet there are common threads that bind many bereaved parents. From them we learn the high cost of compassion….
Many bereaved parents find that the loss of a child shifts their priorities. They seek meaning in life, with all that such a search entails. They also experience a new perspective on what they value: life’s transience seems more immediate; relationships more vital. These presidents show us a few of the many forms grief can take. Theodore Roosevelt was crippled with guilt; Calvin Coolidge discovered new priorities; George H. W. Bush, Joe Biden, and Dwight Eisenhower found ways to go on, though never to forget; Abraham Lincoln demonstrated how sorrow and compassion can save a people and heal a nation.
©David Bannon
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